


Schizophrenia

by TheShadowedAlter



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Also NCT and VIXX ships will be thrown in here, Alternate Universe - Mental Institution, Angst, Bad Parenting, Depression, Explicit Language, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Schizophrenia, Self-Harm, Soonseok is main ship but it takes a while to develop, Soonyoung is from America cause why not, Suicide Attempt, The other ships are probably gonna be Jigyu Wonhui and Jihan, verkwan is probably the only fluff in the beginning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 02:38:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8428123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheShadowedAlter/pseuds/TheShadowedAlter
Summary: Soonyoung, a young man with schizophrenia, is plagued with two demons in his everyday life. After having failed to end his life once before, Soonyoung tries again, only to end up in an institution which changes his life forever...





	

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic has been cross-posted on asianfanfics as well.

“Do it Hoshi”

 

“No.”

 

“Just do it. It only hurts a little. Two little slashes in just the right places and before you know it you'll be gone from this wretched world”

 

“Okay”

 

Soonyoung woke up with a start, drenched in sweat. His breathing had quickened and he could feel his heart pounding in his ears.  It was hopeless, he could never get away from them. They were everywhere, even in his dreams, spinning his thoughts, destroying him from inside out.  Do this, do that; they always needed him to do something. Soonyoung sat up and looked around his room, searching for them. 

 

“Could you please stop calling us them, Hoshi,”  a voice suddenly spoke up.

 

“Ya, it’s rude” another voice joined in.

 

“I would stop calling you guys them if you actually called me by my real name! Where did Hoshi even come from?,” He yelled quietly, not wanting to wake his parents and younger sister in the rooms nearby.

 

“Fine, Soonyoung,” dragged out one of the voices.

 

“Thanks Naomi,”Soonyoung curtly replied, “And Lily?”

 

“Ugh why. I like Hoshi, it's cute like you,” said Lily.

 

“Fine. I’m not gonna get anywhere with you anyway”, he sighed.

 

“Yup. You know me so well by now Hoshi, it's great to know you actually care,” Lily chirped.

 

“It's not like I have a choice,” Soonyoung mumbled as he felt the two girls’ presence slowly disappear, off to do whatever they did when they weren't pestering him.

 

He swung his legs over the side of his bed to check the time. 

 

“It's only 3:13. Shit. Now what do i do…” Soonyoung whispered as he layed back down. 

 

He was wide awake with absolutely nothing to do but stare at the gaping hole in the wall near his bed. It was after he was released from the goddamn hospital. For weeks after he slit his wrists and nearly died, the voices had stayed away.. He had thought he was done with them and that his pitiful attempt at trying to kill himself was enough. But no. The same day he was deemed fit enough to come home; they had come back as well. Stupid Lily and stupid Naomi. The demons of both his waking world as well as his sleeping one.

 

“You should just try again,” Soonyoung heard from the other side of the bed.

 

Speak of the devil and so he appears; or in Sooyoung's case she.

 

He turned around to face the she-devil herself who was perched upon his small black nightstand. Lily was quite petite in appearance. She was about 15 years of age and small in stature. Accompanying her childish look, she had long, dark brown, curly hair;  paleish, white skin and small eyes with long dark eyelashes. Normal looking, except for one side factor, her eyes were a deep blood red in color. 

 

Naomi stood right next to the red eyed demon, leaning against the wall. Just like Lily, she was around 15 and small, yet taller than Lily. Unlike  her partner  Naomi was of Indian descent with olive skin, black hair and dark brown eyes. Cute and person like yet, just like her younger counterpart had an unhuman-like feature, so did she. Naomi donned long,menacing claws that ended at her fingertips instead of where regular nails did.

 

Soonyoung knew what was coming. Whenever either or both of the girls appeared in their physical forms he knew he was in serious trouble.. 

 

Lily stared at him with her cold, calculating eyes before speaking up, “If you hate us so much you could always try to finish what you started. It’s early. No one will find you in time. In just a few hours,  you'll be drained dry”

 

“All you have to do is walk to your bathroom and pull out that razor we told you to hide Soonyoung. It's as easy as one, two, three…” Naomi whispered as she made a slashing motion against her thin wrist.

 

“No. Not again.” Soonyoung whimpered out loud as he backed up against his bed backboard.

 

He could see Lily and Naomi inching forward towards him, the room slowly darkening until all he could see were a pair of red glowing eyes. He could feel the panic  bubble up inside of him, his breaths becoming shallower and his body starting to tremble.

 

“Just a few deep cuts and all this goes away Hoshi,” Lily said coolly.

 

“N-N-No” Soonyoung stuttered, feeling as if the room was slowly starting to collapse in on him.

 

“Yes. You hate this. You hate life. You have no reason to stay and suffer. No one cares, not even your parents or your sister,” Lily hissed into his ear.

 

_ “No. They love me. Why else would they save me last time.”  _ Soonyoung screamed internally.

 

“It was not them who saved you last time but your stupid cousin Jisung. Even that was purely accidental since he was just trying to find a bathroom that wasn't being used,” Lily countered, seeing right through  Sooyoung's thoughts like always.

 

_ “She’s right like always… Maybe it is better?”  _ Soonyoung thought to himself, trying to calm his racing heart.

 

“Of course it's better. Remember your tortured school days when no one talked to you but us. Or how you weren't allowed to dance in the talent show or join dance classes like you had always dreamed of _._ How about the time you came out as gay to your parents and they just laughed and passed it off as a joke. No one cares at all… No one will stop you this time…,” both Naomi and Lily said together as the darkness started to fall back, revealing the girls standing in the doorway waving for him to follow.

 

Soonyoung stood up  quickly,his legs shaking underneath him. He took small steps towards the door on cautious feet, trying not to make a sound on his creaky wood floors. He kept his eyes locked on the floor, never raising his head up to look at his demons. Finally Hoshi looked up as he reached the door.His best friends had moved down the hallway towards the farthest bathroom near the guest room. 

 

_ “I only need to pass the parents’ and my sister’s rooms and then I'll be free to die all by my willful self,” _ Soonyoung thought as he glanced at the doors near his bedroom..

 

Slowly he walked step by step down the floored hall, trying to stay as quiet as possible. Soonyoung managed to make it past both his parents’ room and his sister’s room before he came to an abrupt stop as a piece of floor creaked underneath him.

 

“You idiot! You may have woken someone up!” Naomi snarled near his ear...

 

Soonyoung winced but before he got a chance to reply , he heard his sister's small, sleepy voice from her room, “Soonyoung oppa is that you?”

 

“Ya its me Jiae,” Soonyoung replied to reassure his sister, even with the evil glares he was being sent by Lily and Naomi.

 

“Why are you up? It's very early… You aren't going to do something bad right?” Jiae spoke up, worry evident in her voice.

 

“Lie,” he heard Lily hiss from her place nearby.

 

“I just need to get some water; I can't seem to fall asleep since I had a nightmare,” Soonyoung whispered with a gentle tone, trying not to startle the young girl.

 

“Oh, okay Soonyoung Oppa. I'm gonna go back to sleep,” Jiae replied.

 

“You do that Jiae,” Soonyoung said to himself, sneaking a glance at the girls waiting for him to continue his trek towards them.

 

Keeping his ears alert for any more movement from his sister, Soonyoung carried on. He walked quickly, his ragged breathing the only sound shifting the silence, towards Naomi and Lily, not halting once, scared of what would happen if he actually thought about his coming actions. As Soonyoung arrived near the closed and menacing  white door of the guest bathroom he took a deep breath to try and calm himself.

 

_ “I really have nothing holding me back...My sister took my lie without even questioning me,” _ Soonyoung thought to himself, once more falling for his demon’s lonely trap, and opening the door with one swift push.

 

The door let out a small creak as it moved on its unused hinges. The sound was seemingly to small to alert anyone in his house of his whereabouts, but it was indeed loud enough to alert his sister who was unable to sleep after having woken up. Soonyoung moved forward after closing the door behind him, unaware of his sister slowly getting out of bed to check on him. He moved towards the cabinet underneath the sink in a trance-like state, the girls egging him on with small reassuring whispers, and he pulled out the new razor blade he had stolen from his dad's set, not that he seemed to care. 

 

Soonyoung looked up one last time at the clear mirror. He could see his dyed blond hair sticking to his sweaty forehead and his small dull eyes that were once filled with happiness and joy. Soonyoung wondered what happened to let him become this way. Why had Lily and Naomi decided to suddenly follow him home that day in third grade, he never knew, all he knew was that after that day everything had changed for the worst. He was treated differently because of them, schizophrenia the doctors had said but his parents hadn't believed them. Now look where he was, having tried suicide once and now on a relapse; great parenting.

 

Shifting the blade between his two hands before positioning it over his left wrist he whispered “Here goes nothing…,” before slashing it across his wrist, causing a deep cut and a familiar sting that he remembered from the last time he had done this.

 

Soonyoung watched the blood start to form and pool out of his open wrist. Every drop falling making him remember every terrible detail of his miserable life. One drop, his parents ignorance. Another drop, the time he had been laughed at for talking to the girls at school. More and more drops fell to the floor for every single one of his never ending bad memories. 

 

“The other one Hoshi…,” Lily whispered in his ear while putting the razor into his now bloody hand and moving it over his other bare wrist; his sister was slowly making it out of the room, all too aware of her parents sleeping and the chances of being caught.

 

“Last time I failed, this time I won't,” Soonyoung muttered strongly before making a second ragged cut into his right wrist, letting a grunt out from the pain of the uneven cut.

 

Sinking to the floor with his back to the wall, Soonyoung could feel himself getting dizzier and dizzier and he could feel the sting of his cut open wrists more than before. Only a few steps away stood his sister who had frozen when she had heard the pained grunt, all too aware of the possibilities that could be behind the closed bathroom door. 

 

Staring up at the two who stood before him with curious eyes, Soonyoung muttered through clasped teeth, “This hurts more than last time.”

 

“It’s because of the careless job you did on your right wrist. Don't worry though, it will all go away soon,” Lily stated, while squatting down to look Soonyoung straight in the eyes.

 

“O...k,”Soonyoung quietly answered, his mind was starting to fog up and his eyes were going black around the edges.

 

Soonyoung sighed and closed his eyes. It was becoming too much of an effort to keep them open.

 

“Oppa? Is that you in there? What are you doing?” Jiae called from outside the door.

 

Soonyoung had no energy to answer her question or think of a remark when he heard Naomi call him a fool for being caught.

 

“I’m coming in Soonyoung,” his sister said bravely before slowly opening the door.

 

Unidentifiable screams were the last thing that Soonyoung heard before he passed out in his own pool of blood.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first fanfic on here so i hope you enjoyed the prologue! My update schedule is gonna be super weird and spaced out sorry. Comments would be helpful and ill try my best to comment back.
> 
> Welp I havnt updated in a while and I apologize since schools been a hassle but I have a break coming up and I'll try to get the first actual chapter up.


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